Bromance

He ispires me in so many ways; I would have always said to myself for so many times everyday. That afternoon as I was chatting with him through one media, my memory took me back to everything that we have been through. We effect each other, the effect that has seem so effortless but happens unexpectedly like that.
Maybe, I affect him by how I have expect the lowest out of him and the maturity of my words; I have never known. The thing I realize I've done is that I have made more of his unknown confidence grow in him as I become one of his closest friend. In my point of view, he's this guy I appear to influence so much in doing reverse psychology lot to myself's sake, in some sort of way.
But what he didn't know and purposefully will never understand is that he have inspired me more than what I have expected since the day we know each other better than anybody else have ever known about him.
Other than romance and the selfcontrol he taught me in his actions, he did taught me one more specific lesson that I would have wanted to mastered in my teenage life but seems to be impossible anyway. It is simple for people to say this, but for a complicated and spaghetti brained girl like me, this can be a matter to not finish unless I really have shown my persistence and effort in it.
It is, which, to be so strong infront of those you love, pretending that everything's cool and nothing has happened when you yourself is encountering something so badly inside yourself that you wanna cry and told somebody all about it. It's hard to not tell someone about it, keeping it all to yourself and at the same time to cherish other people when you know you need it too yourself.
I have always asked God personally since then, how could have he done that, how could he always look so strong infront of me when that particular thing is taking waste of his attention at the same time? HOW could he seem so strong?? HOW?!?! I wanted to be like that someday, or have I been that way?
I don't know if I should regret to know this fact sooner or later of him, but I think I could not have deny that God have a purpose for me to come in his life and his' in mine to exchange a lot of new experiences together. I never have regretted that I am always a lighted up person from the begginning of our friendship, building up his confidence, lifelong bromance skills as much as being his girl to count on everytime he needs me. I want to constantly show that he is actually worth it; he can get through all this; he is not a looser nor uglier than others. He is equal and even more than many of his friends.
I may not exactly or specifically understand his suffers in it's simpliest details, but I know that if he in person have made it this far; then he can continue the fight until the death. Also maybe, if being said 'yes' by God, he could have die a patriot's death and make a change before all the leave he have to do from this earth. God be with you, my friend. -red •glow13productions•