Away

‘Being so alone in a big world sucks’ – I told myself as I walked down the paved streets of Kota Tua, Central Jakarta. I was walking alone for quite sometime that afternoon. I managed to escape my reality of studying for my transfer credits for my semester study at RMIT University Melbourne, Australia. Lately it’s just been me, all of those books in the library and countless hours of food and sleep.

There is this one guy who knew about the plans I made for my RMIT program and decides to help me with a little escape every Saturday though. But for a typical hectic Wednesday, I am all about my studies.

Suddenly my phone rang. I wasn’t expecting a call from anyone; so I thought I was my mom whom check on my updates every single day. But it wasn’t her. An unknown number appeared as the caller’s ID.

“Hello?” A voice boomed from the other end of my phone

“Who’s this?” I asked

“Oh hey, it’s me Jojo” That voice replied

“Oh hey, hey! Weren’t you not supposed to call me or something in a mid-week day?”

“Nah, I chose to call you instead of my mom. Tell her I said hi, okay? Anyways, I won’t be off this weeked. Duty calls. I hope you’ll do fine”

“That’s alright. I have lots to do anyways. Yeah, I’ll tell your mom. But I’ll be going next week. Will you be home by then?”

“Hope so. By a rate of 85% chance, yes, I’ll be home. When is your flight again?”

“Um, it’s Friday night on 12. You don’t have to come if you’re tired. We can skype”

“OF COURSE I WILL! Oops, time’s up! See you next week, okay? I miss you!”

“Yeah, I miss you too. Bye” I hear my voice suddenly decreasing

“Bye.”

And then phone clicks dead. I was all alone again.

That was our last call anywhere around the 3 weeks of our separation due to his studies and mine – which made us rarely look like anything like being in a relationship. It’s just been a few months now which had felt like forever. We both know what risks we’re facing the moment we agree to commit to this relationship and marriage plan in 3 to 5 years from now; that we will be separated a lot due to the different career paths we had, that he might face his death in an airplane accident, and that I might have another choice on my love-life as soon as I am back from Australia. But then, we still make that commitment in the end anyway. I don’t know how we managed to believe that we are meant for each other.

The week goes past as fast as usual; then until came the Friday we all have been waiting for: the day I will escort myself to RMIT University. Jojo wasn’t up until the last few minutes of my departure to the waiting lounge. And when he finally did, it was just me and him – hugging in the midst of people walking to the waiting room. He was let in to that phase of the airport because he is a well known pilot who was going through his internships in our airport. He was still in his duty uniform – a sign that he directly made his way to the airport without going home first.

“Promise me you’ll be okay there?” He begged me after a long hug.

“I can’t. What if the pilot sucks at being a pilot and plane crashes and fall?” I give him that sly look I always give him everytime I mean to joke his pilot-life choice.

“Well then before you die, give me that signal of which captain was in the vessel and I’ll make him be justified at heaven’s court for making my girlfriend die” He smiled with a little chuckle.

“HAHA, girlfriend? You sure, capt?” I hold his hand tighted and smiled back

He held me close in his arms and say those words only loud enough for the both of us to hear. Those few minutes which felt so short and undefined made me don’t want to leave and just take my chance in my own country; never having to not see him in 6 months time. But I have had my mind on it; that I’ll keep going no matter what holds me back.

We had that one last hug before I continued on the walk.

I trusted him. I trusted my dreams. And just before he let go, a kiss landed on my forehead as a teardrop landed on our holding hands.

Little did he know how loud my soul hurts to go. But if it is what it takes to realize what we have when someone is taken away from us, I’ll let myself go for a while and learn this lesson better than anyone else does. Because he is still here, and I still let his dreams grow with him. –red

“Hey, I love you okay? Just tell me which guy fucks you up and I’ll throw him down the skies once he’s got his foot on my property – both the plane and your life”