REVIVED

For so long I’ve tried to redefine the meaning of friendship. I kept on going in the process of being an acquaintance to friends and finally into best friends – hoping to know what it meant for me to be a “friend” for someone else. I’ve had very few people I truly trust along the way as I thought:

A best friend is someone you can count on in their silence; someone whose silence won’t feel awkward.

A best friend is someone who is generous enough to celebrate with you when you accomplish your dreams – even if it means giving up on the guy you both liked only to see them being happy.

A best friend is someone who have seen you in your strongest and approved your pride in those high tides and holds your hand while lending a shoulder to cry on in your weakest.

A best friend knows how to not let your ego take over your body when you are at the top. They will compress your pride if it’s been too much.

Most importantly, a best friend knows that no words will soothe you when you cry – because easy comfort isn’t comforting – that last thing you need during those hours is their existence; listening.

They know just how to balance you.

...

But today is the first time I’ve seen you cry.

You’ve been so strong over the years that being strong have been the only option I gave you.

I guess I was selfish to only give you one option to deal with; that I forgot that you are as breakable as any other human beings are.

When I see you cry for the very first time, I feel so small. I just don’t know what to do. I wanted to hide behind your stronghold to make sure you’re stronger than you look – to take hold of your hand and let it stay there without saying a word – but I also don’t know if that would ever be enough to ever decompress your sadness.

It hurts me to see you being hurt like this. It was as if I can feel the pain too. I wanted to take the pain instead so that you don’t have to feel it – or the least to lessen the pain. I’ll sacrifice myself for the hurt that you’re feeling because I just can’t see someone I truly cared about having to deal with such great pain I don’t even understand the feel of.

But I can't have whatever you have, can’t I? All I can have is a glimpse your sadness and all you can have is me not understanding. You have to own the morphine alone; you have to go over this pain alone.

But then again, baby, you don’t have to worry. I'll always take a seat next to you; I’ll always have your back; you’ll always have an ear to hear; a heart to feel; and an eye to see.

Even if you want me to do it, I can’t give you any advice. Yeah, you’ve told me all about the sadness and the pain, but I still can’t do it. I am not you – I don’t know how hurt you’ve been; how large is the scar; how deep has the sword charged; or how large of a pool of blood it's let. It’s a feeling only for yourself to experience.

With this hurt, you'll have to be stronger than before. You'll have to be braver than before. You'll have to be whatever better than what you were before.

But my friend, with these expectations I’ve ask of you comes a great amount of power I know you’ll posses. You’ll be much stronger; you’ll be much more mature; you’ll be much wiser; and you’ll be better when another day like this comes. I’ll see you coming out as a pretty butterfly from that cocoon when the hurt is over.

I guess what's more important is that you stayed the same to whatever you are; that you’re there when someone else needed you; that you’d be the person the society wants you to be. Fulfill their expectations, my friend. Be a great one. I’d be glad to be the one who accompanies you to that doorstep of spotlight and to be able to call you my best friend. –red