“Valerie, right?” All the vibration
in this words flirt
“You are?” I asked, rather
uncomfortable with all that was going on
“Joshua; rather to be called ‘Posy’
with those of who pampers me – in which you looked like one”
“The heck?” I said, clearly
annoyed
“Wait, seriously, you’ve
forgotten? Joshua, though, from elementary? You used to call me ‘Posy’ for some
reason and that got stuck with me every time.”
“NO. WAY!”
And yes, it turns out that he was
the Joshua that used to be my elementary friend. And no, I have never
remembered him. I wouldn’t say that we were friends, really. First of all, I’ve
had a lot of friend called Joshua during elementary. Second of all, I’d only
let myself play with him once and that was merely letting him run and find me
during a hide and seek on sixth grade – which was nothing compared to the large
number of kids playing. And third, there was also this other time when I’d let
him touch my hand and walk along the corridor together because I was so sad and
he’d insist to make me feel better – which happened during fourth. Josh told me
all about this, of course.
All conversation went on easily
after that. His charm won all the attention I’ve got until I can’t hold my
words any longer to spit out that “shit. How did you get all these good genes
and get so handsome?” sentence.
3 years of getting to know Joshua
as I never remembered of knowing him made us closer than we intended to be. We
became more than just classmates – we are soul-mates.
This Josh would tease me like
hell just because I’d let him held my hand during elementary and completely forgotten all about it.
This Josh would be my ultimate
teammate when it comes to teamwork; because we trusted each other so much and
our values in working aligned as bad as some other pairs were that we became inseparable.
This Josh would protect me as if
I was his girlfriend when everybody knew Josh had been single all along (he wasn’t
interested in any of those girls, if I could still clearly recall).
And this Josh, to let everyone
know, has never been more alive than when he was in the waters; when he swam. I
never liked him better when I saw he swam. He was just so good at it.
Anyways, Josh could’ve got any
girl he wanted. He was a charming bad-ass. A perfect specimen to love. But no,
Josh hadn’t touch a single hand of a girl ever-since fourth grade. He have had
an ultimate crush to this girl that he never outgrew. A lot of girls pursue
him, but he was never interested – especially not after this girl came back
marching into his life again after 3 years missing; and it was then he
perfectly knew that he was meant for this girl for the rest of his life.
“Josh?” I called him one time as
we were heading down to the first floor, where our canteen were. It was the
year we were freshman, long before I even thought of liking him anyways.
“What was it like to never get
interested in anyone? You know, to not to want to touch their boobs or
whatever. You’re not gay, are you?” I asked
“Well, first of all, you must’ve
had some big guts to say someone as charming as I am to be gay. Thankfully, I
am not gay”
I laughed. I knew he was right. I
do have big guts. But I wasn’t into pleasing him, so I felt alright confronting
him with anything I wanted.
“Second of all, I’ve liked
multiple girls. Yet, I’ve never dated any. And yes, I do want to touch boobs
whatsoever before my life ends, really. But I can’t touch anyone whom I can’t
commit my love life into. So there’s that”
Well, there was the start of liking
Josh, I guess. He made everything of loving him so effortless that I didn’t see
sophomore year coming already. He was more charming than ever by then when he’d
actually dance with me during the senior prom in which he was invited to – perks
of being the senior’s favorite, he would say.
But prom night, oh Lord, would I
never get the chance to have another night like that.
Josh let me dance with him round
and round the circle without speaking; minutes spent of touching his rough and
tough working hand; laying a smell of his smartly sprayed tuxedo; minutes that
were spent alone on the luxurious hotel verandah with a drink on one hand and
another on my spine. I was more than thrilled that night.
It was the night he told me he
was madly in love with the lady on whom he danced all night with, the lady whom
mesmerized him every time they talked. How badly he wanted to spend the rest of
his life with this person, the person who’d touch his hand during elementary
school and let it comfort her; even though she probably still hadn’t had any
clear idea that it happened. This Josh, yes, is in love with me. Madly.
And let me tell you something
important: that to have someone you’ve actually known for so long to like you
when you’re actually falling for him as well was miraculous. But that night
holds more than just the spoken feelings. It holds secrets he’d never told me
about himself. It was the night everything broke down – the systems of his
body; the tumor in the brain.
Sadly, the day that dates our
strengthen bond also dates his destined death a year later.
But the lie never hit me then. It
hits me a year later; when he was actually gone – for good. –red
TO BE CONTINUED
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar