HIM...

Satu hal yang sebenernya paling gue tunggu dari seorang sosok yang duduk di diagonal depan kiri gue setiap kali final test adalah: ‘GLOR! Bagi answer sheet dong Glor!’ I know, I know, kejadian seperti itu sebenernya bodoh banget kalo mau diliat. Tapi, ya gitu deh. Gue ga bisa boongin apa yang sebenernya gue rasain di lubuk hati gue yang paling dalam. It almost mean the world to me talking to your “mentally claimed best guy friend in the world” atau yang biasa gue singkat jadi MCBGFITW (Say it anyway you like it ajalah. I have no better abbrreviations at the moment. Hahaha).

World was nothing until lu sebenernya bisa ngerti bahwa lu berdua udah kenal kayak lama banget dan dari hati lu yang paling dalem lu sebenernya pengen banget ngenal dia lebih sebagai sosok itu. Untuk sekarang, gue harus puas dengan hanya obrolan singkat bodoh yang sebenernya bisa banget dilakukan oleh kita berdua pada manusia-manusia lain di sekitar kita. Selain emang pada kenyataannya kita berdua setidaknya pernah beberapa kali bertukar pandang atau  berulang-kali mengambil kesempatan terselubung untuk saling mencuri pandang, gue selalu bisa ngerasain aja kedekatan kita. He have always been him and I have always been me within the changes of the world whenever we were together. Keheningan yang ditelan oleh waktu telah membuat gue sadar akan artinya kebersamaan kita dengan sisa waktu yang ada; menghargai segalanya dengan lebih seksama. Rasanya kepengen nangis.

There’s always a slight difference of people would have treat me when they found it interesting enough (or annoying enough) to basically know about me. They emerge in so many diverse yet funny way of saying “hey yeah I sort of liked you, so lets meet up and see if we can get along mutually”. Most of the time, harshly. But that doesn’t really matter actually, because what finally determines what kind of friendship you have depends on how you react on most of his/her jokes and how much you could literally understand from their point of view and/or thesaurus.

To this kid, we have passed through trouble times and we both know that we are actually the definition of trouble itself. Time after times, I think we both have tried to show our consistency upon everthing to each other and ends up struggling to try the 101^th time.

Considering to what I have said in the next couple of minutes, he isn’t the type of guy who I could’ve said I had a crush on. His friendship and mine is the kind of “I feel better we go as bestfriends rather than in couple” thing. We grew a little bit too fond of each other in terms of weird friend level than the others. In the 50 last minutes of my biology final test, I decided to make this note for that guy.

Entah ya apakah gue akan nemu cowo yang lebih “asik” buat gue macem-macemin dan macem-macemin gue balik in the good way, tapi buat tahun ini emang dia adalah “the official guy of the year”. Soalnya walaupun gue sempet suka sama anak sekelas yang lain (cowo juga lah ya) gue sadar bahwa gue ngga sepenuhnya bisa secara mental bilang ‘iya emang lu tipe gue’ sama cowok lain itu. Ngga, ngga begitu ceritanya disini. Dia bukan orang itu. But this one? Gue masih belum ada kepastian.

He has not only showed me persistency, smart, and calming personality that I truly liked about him, he is one of the kind that I somehow know can change more or less my way of thinking about people. His alter-ego, say whatever you want to say, and termendous emotions made me believe that someway, he is something my parents will be happy to see in my future guy guy. IF I ever get married before the world ends. But before that happens, I’m just going to plainly enjoy my times of spending stupind things in my life. Being friends with him and everybody else; trying out the “bad things” you shouln’t have done when you are seeing yourself back in 30 years ahead. -red