Goodbye

I hate goodbyes. No matter how hard I tried not to hate it, I still hate it in the end. To the way some of my friend sees it, this is just a “see you later” process everyone gets to deal with. I agree about “the process everyone gets to deal with” bla bla bla but to my opinion, personally, going back to another old routine without someone’s presence or something that we’ve had for more than hours of our lives can’t just be considered as another “see you later”. It is more of a devastating loss than comeback. The fact is that these goodbyes are harder than just a see you later.

What if this “see you later” turns out to be like my relationship with the guy I used to be really close with 6 months ago? What if see you later is just an anastesy so that the pain won’t feel so bad in the first place? What if we never actually see each other again after the first “see you later”?

Sometimes, I do wish I never had to meet that routine/someone in the first place so that I won’t need any further goodbyes.

On the contrary, goodbyes can also mean coming home to what you’ve known your whole life; your family, your friends, your environment, your pillows, your comfort zone. It feels good to those experiencing it. Seeing again the same old sky you’ve seen for ages? Meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve left? Who doesn’t feel good about that? Yeah, I know, goodbye can be really annoying to some.

Back at Thailand, I don’t feel so home even though I’ve been there before and I love the temperature and other things. I think I might be adapting really fast in the land of the elephant, but Thailand just doesn’t feel home: the people weren’t as exciting. They‘re just not warm enough.

To some people who grew up in a democratic country as what Indonesia is, trying to live in a kingdom country isn’t an easy start. If you tweeted one wrong sentence about your king, you’re screwed. I love the goodbye I offered to Thailand even though I’m pretty sure I’ll come back for Thailand for something someday. But oh did I tell you the goodbye I say to Indonesia? It wasn’t even that easy walking down the airport to the plane even though I know I’ll be back in several days. This “see you later” seems more like a goodbye to me.

Finally, I guess I’ll have to force my brain to understand that ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you later’ are two different things I cannot distinguish the difference. But if goodbye ends up tearing people’s heart apart, why do we keep saying goodbye? –red

“Why are we saying goodbye to the person we love? How does saying goodbye to them suppose to make us feel happy? Shouldn’t happiness means to get to stay with them and be happy together?”